In the mecca of us, we all glow forever.

i miss you like crazy.
for the past 2 years it hurts to go to sleep early because i don't have to stay up until 1am talking about noob hate and time difference.

help someone out.
they always choose family over me! always! i would never do that.
excuses excuses excuses.

twitter.com/sydneereckless
i'm ghost like swayze.

websites are celebrating 10th birthdays.

i remember when the most popular sites were barely 3 years old. ew i feel like i'm getting old.

i guess Livejournal is probably the thing most far back in my mind (sorry!), and i delete most posts that meant anything at all simply because i didn't like them.

last week i met some of the most awesome people of all time! it was a serious sick night, and i couldn't be more sure about that.
this year i want to meet them all over again. and again. and again. and on my journeys i want to meet even more people just like them. seeing as 2008 was great for newity!

uh i'm becoming more aware of the fact ANYONE can lurk me whenever they please.

i watched the cable guy last night. it wasn't BAD. but it scared me a little bit, although it was a million times better than the number 23.
OH WHILE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT JIM CARREY.
i saw yes man on saturday and holy cow! amazing. i had NO idea third eye blind played a part in it, i can't believe nobody told me!? (by the way, they're one of my favourite bands of all time)
i was singing along and going crazy, it was good.

i'm going movie-tastic this week, madagascar 2 tomorrow and role models (WOOOOO!) on saturday.
and you know what? i might just watch lords of dogtown RIGHT NOW.

have a good day

i haven't seen this big empty space in a long time.
i wish i could write forever but
1. i'm the only person who will EVER read it.
2. if i go to sleep in 11 minutes then i will get an extra 30 minutes sleep at dawn (i got my body clock sussed giiiiiiiiiirrrrrl!)

anyway, hey.

there's a full moon again! except it's clouded over. oh boy.

i noticed i haven't told y'all that the 4 year 7 month wait to meet my favourite person in the entire world is over in February. but i'd rather not talk about that because i'll puke.

i got a year older! and this time i wanted to stay young.

my friends have all completely rearranged. i lost pretty much everyone and gained someone i'll keep forever<3

i think i have a new perspective on life. i'm reading the best book in the entire world.

and last night i wrote FIVE songs in the middle of the night. FIVE.

it's a full moon tonight.
and it's not just pretty, it's creepy.
just looking at it gives me the heebie jeebies.

it brings me back to a time in 2003. Finding Nemo had just came out on dvd, and i was in Orlando.
everywhere you looked, these huge billboards and cardboard cut outs had pictures of these little fish pasted all over them.
it was november, and it got dark kinda early, as we left a store.
we drove through my favourite road on this earth, and stopped for food and to visit a fairground.

i stood leaning against a car for 20 minutes, because something amazing had caught my eye, the moon.
it reminded me that everyone feels something the same.
and looking at this creviced, full, and magical object far away, could do just that.

everyone came running back to the car, we were singing part of your world, and i was holding a huge stuffed nemo i'd just bought.
i was joking around and opened the car door.

and as we drove away, the moon never once left my sight.

and it's here right in front of me at this very moment, still making me happy 5 years on.
and it's gonna be right here until the day i die.
whether i'm at home in orlando, or stuck in a small polluted city in england, it's still looking down on me.

I do not know one person who's at reading.

Anyway,
first i was going, but then decided to go to download fest instead.
then after download fest, i was 1102192012% glad i went instead of leeds.
then i felt kinda jealous, cause fftl were playing.
then fftl pulled out.
then i was glad again.
then i got jealous because slipknot are there.
then they pulled out.

now i'm just questioning why everyone is so excited for leeds? when download was def the best weekend of the year.

I don't know what I'd do without these cards.
I looove hannah montana.

Anyway.
I'm in spain, it sucks, goddamn.
Somebody is going to die if I don't get mountain dew SOON also.
I've ate 2 pieces of bread in 3 days, make up runs as soon as you put it on & chris lent's signature is disappearing with the sweat.

£7.50 for the internet per hour.

SOMEBODY GET ME TO GEORGIA SO I CAN HAVE SOME GOOD FOOD.

There is 1 good point though.
Yesterday I bought a cute vintage tokio hotel shirt from a small spanish market.
Oh and I've got through 8 packs of trident splash and watched every episode of fftl tv at least 10 times.

And I loooove the limousines!!

T-mail me while I'm here, even if it's just to say hey, my social levels are waaay low.

Skrillex@t-mobile-sidekick.co.uk

I need a few hours in a dark room alone to let all the events of yesterday sink in.

This day meant more to me than my entire life, and I still haven't been able to just sit down and think about it.

I can still see manning running towards me with indiana jones socks in his hand jumping to hug me. And I can still see ricky, chris & jason hale waving and jumping for me and my best friend outside their bus.

I never want to get rid of the smell of festival from my clothes.
I can't believe it was 24 hours ago I was shaking inside of a toilet as drums played in the tent next to me.

In ten minutes the best weekend of my life is over and and it's back to the same old people I've seen everyday for a year. May I add I got sick of their stupid little faces after a few days,

But this time things are different. I may be spending this day skipping school and recovering, but the ringing's still in my ears, and I keep saying to myself, gotta get back to stalking chris, then realising I'm not there anymore.
But tomorrow when I wake up and put on a new mind, I'm taking the one single most important thing in my life out with me...
Music is the only thing I will ever need in my life, everything else isn't worth my time, education, family, crap friends, relationships. NOTHING will EVER make me want to give up on myself like I used to, now that I've found who I really am, screw everyone and everything else.

Yesterday is never gonna come around again, but it's given me enough happiness to get me through the rest of my days.

Everyone says you're dissapointed when you meet your idols.
It took me 4 dedicated years to get there, but it was worth every single minute of it.

Finally seeing fftl.
nobody knows how excited i am right now.
NOBODY.
almost 4 freakin' years wait!

I'm sitting in english, spread across the floor, just writing, writing about what matters, and I could do this allll day.

What determines who we are and where we are? I don't believe in god but what does make us human? Blah blah blah genetics, that only creates our appearance and small personality traits. What about our destiny? Where we're born? Who we're attracted to? It's all very suspicious to me, and there must be a reason.

For example, I'm sitting here on my bed now typing this on my sk, and I really do believe I was born in the wrong country. I don't enjoy what other teenagers enjoy because I'm putting all my life into getting out of england, and this has been my goal since I was 7 years old, the first time I ever visited the US. For the next 6 years I'm working and working to get an amazing job I don't even enjoy, just to live in the US.

I'm dedicating all my teen life to finally getting out, when all together, I'd rather flip burgers in illinois.

Is it just that I'm so unlucky that I was born to run away?

Or am I here because whatever determines my decisions realised that placing me here would make me who I am as I grow up.

To the front door.
To the mini bus.
To manchester airport.
To a plane to California.
To CA.
To Irvine.
To see what i've always wanted to see.

If only.

There's always going to be a place, where someone copies your style, your hair, your music taste and there will be people who copy your personality, places like that, you've got to get away from.

But what if that place is somewhere you can't get away from, what if this place isn't going, no matter how hard you try, what if these people follow you wherever you go.

Oh so you're bleeding all over the keyboard?
Well my color's are running in the waves?

I was so attached to him i'm scared of falling in love with anyone new, and it looks like it's happening.

On a high note.
I'm going to Alton Towers tomorrow.
Let's hang.